Not till they pry my sweaty little f…Whoops

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – A small but startling sign welcomed the gun lovers who arrived at the National Rifle Association‘s annual gathering Friday.

“Firearms WILL NOT be allowed in Hall A during the Celebration of American Values Leadership Forum.”

The alert, however, said nothing about pocketknives, which seemingly everybody here was carrying. Hundreds of conventiongoers finally reached the detectors only to be told they could not be admitted with an implement they had never even considered to be a weapon.

Yet another long line formed at a glassed-in kiosk where a pair of Expo Center security guards agreed to watch over the knives.

“It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it?” Rob Stevens of Bedford, Ky., said. “We preach the right to carry everywhere, and we got to start by turning in a pocketknife.”

Former Bush mini-me Karl Rove got three standing ovations as he made jokes about Barack Obama‘s unfortunate remark about bitter people clinging to guns and religion.

John McCain bemoaned those occasions when a particular violent crime has prompted calls for tighter restrictions on firearms. Such crimes include assassinations and attempted assassinations, the memory of which make even NRA members cringe at jokes even about Obama. The fear that such a thing could also happen to McCain himself was what prompted the zero tolerance at the hall’s entrance.

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